Dec
07
2011

A De-Meccanization

Usually on this blog I rant and rave about things that bug me. For example, I could tell you about the exchange I had with a nurse taking my vitals at a doctor’s office recently:

Nurse: “How tall are you?”

Me: “4’11″…and a half.”

Nurse: [tilting her head to the side and giving me the kind of condescending brow furrow and half smile that says “Aww, that’s ok that capri pants fit you like regular pants.” Then, lowering her voice and in a “this will be our little secret” way…]: “Well, we’ll just say you’re 5 feet.”

If I were more adult, I would have smiled and let this slide. But I’m petty. So I looked her right in the eye and said “No, please write 4’11” and a half commander viagra pas cher. Because that’s how tall I am.” Kids, that’s how to turn a nerve-wracking doctor’s appointment into an awkward, nerve-wracking doctor’s appointment. Meccanized.

But today is not about Meccanization. Today is about honoring some truly  wonderful people.

For a number of reasons, these last few days have been stressful and vaguely unpleasant. I’ve been anxious, cranky, exhausted and whiny… generally, a real joy to be around. That’s why when I feel low, I tend to lay low. This week, “laying low” has meant a few things. Lighting candles, drinking wine and listening to the Avett Brothers. Ordering Chinese food, watching movies like “Jerry Maguire” and “Love Actually” and crying like a little bitch. Last night, laying low meant banging my head against the wall trying to finish my last paper of the quarter. I was not a happy camper, as there were many other things – basketball games, having needles driven through my eyes – that I would have rather been doing.

Then came a knock at my door. I asked who it was. No answer. I asked again. No answer. Now, this is pretty much the universal sign for “you’re about to get serial killed.”  But I did a quick statistical analysis on the likelihood that the knocker was going to hack me to pieces (which, based on my performance in Decision Analysis last year, was most likely 100% inaccurate) and ultimately decided to open the door.

Instead of a rapist or other unsavory character, I found two beautiful ladies standing before me with three different bunches of flowers, ice cream and Celebrity Taboo. There was even an attempt (and alleged rehearsals) to quote movie lines from the long list of cathartic movies I had been watching these past few days, but this failed when one of the two couldn’t stop laughing. My friends stayed just long enough to put the ice cream in the freezer, help me arrange the flowers in an aesthetically pleasing way and tell me they were thinking of me.

I love surprises. I love flowers. I love board games. I LOVE ice cream like…well…like a fat kid loves ice cream. But most of all, I love that there are people on the planet like Priyanka R. Tandon and Cassidy McKee, and I love that I am lucky enough to have them in my corner.

Ladies, let me say…without hope or agenda…but because it’s Christmas…and at Christmas, you tell the truth…to me, you are perfect. As promised, for brightening up a really bleak few days and for being two of the best friends a girl could ever ask for, consider yourselves de-Meccanized.*

*Please note that this does not make you immune to Meccanization in the future…you’ve been warned.

Written by lindsay in: Uncategorized |

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