An Open Letter to The Cretins on my Morning Commute

It is a rare group of people that can truly ruin a morning. But you, the crowd on the 1 today, really outdid yourselves with your total lack of consideration and complete obliviousness to the safety and comfort of all others around you.

A few people I would like to acknowledge specifically and publicly thank, who I feel really helped to make 7:45 am to 8:05 am truly outstanding:

– To the man who brought the bag of garbage on and stood right next, mumbling to some unseen third party, a poorly-secured plastic bag drip drip dripping a substance unknown onto my expensive, Cole-Haan leather shoes. Thank you, you scrap-toting lunatic.

– To the woman who just had to stand towards the front of the bus, creating a bottleneck and causing the eleven of us that got on at the last stop to cram in the front because you wouldn’t move yourself back any farther. I was really hoping to spend the 20 minutes vertically spooning with the stranger standing next to me, so I am so grateful to you for allowing me to fulfill that goal.

– A special thanks to the woman who refused to take off her backpack (despite being asked directly to do so by three different people), thereby taking up valuable space next to the vertical bar so I had to pop my shoulder out of joint to reach the horizontal bar a good 4 feet above my head.

– To the guy who quite literally pushed me out of the way to get to the last seat. I really hope that knocking me off balance with my two full bags and high heels made you feel like a man.

Thanks, San Francisco, for making my ride in to work so memorable. Consider yourself Meccanized.

Written by lindsay in: Uncategorized |
  • Deva Hazarika

    How did you identify them? Were they all speaking Greek?

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