And The Oscar Goes To…

The Oscars are fast approaching — a favorite event of the year. Billy Crystal, song and dance, Ernst and Young, “It’s an honor just to be nominated (please, oh please),” secret envelopes, glitzy tedium, “I’d like to thank every breathing soul in the Western hemisphere…”.

Since the nominations were just announced, here’s my two cents along with some unbiased (ha!) perspective.

First, I think The Artist should win. Every award. Even ones it’s not nominated for. It’s an incredible movie. Delightful and unbelievably uplifting. Really a one-of-a-kind, special flick. Drop whatever you are doing and go see it. Multiple times. (Full disclosure: I was interning with The Weinstein Company when they acquired it. This does NOT imply that I had anything to do with Harvey Weinstein’s brilliant business decision to back the movie. But I like to think that my silent, happy cleaning of the conference rooms inspired him to purchase that silent, happy film.)

A few points on other Best Picture nominees: I was underwhelmed by The Descandants, but Moneyball was right down the strike zone and Hugo was a charmer.

I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw that The Help was on the list. I cried like a little girl when I read The Help, because it was such a moving and engaging story. I cried again after watching The Help, because I was so pissed that I invested a space in my Netflix queue and now had to wait 3 days to get The Mentalist, Season 1 Disc 2.

Tree of Life. First, my feeeeeeeelm opinion. Terrance Malick made the film he wanted without pandering to the average audience, so good for him. It’s visually beautiful and I really loved the middle segment about family and growing up. Unfortunately, that was 45 minutes of love in an otherwise abusive 2.5 hour relationship. The first segment was like back footage from Planet Earth, and there are no words to describe how useless the final segment was.  I found it so pretentious and overdone that I started laughing five minutes in and was asked to either quiet down or leave the theater. It was a tough choice, but I gutted it out ’cause I’m classy like that.  In my non-feeeeeeelm opinion – this movie is best enjoyed under the influence of a mind-altering substance. Perception bending isn’t my thing, ergo I would have rather driven needles through my eyes.

Oh, and did I mention that this year there was no greater movie than The Artist?

Best Actor: Three Haikus

Who’s this Bichir guy?

Where the eff is Fassbender…

…and Michael Shannon?


Phew! Gary Oldman…

Long overdue and Brad Pitt

Should win in ten years


Clooney’s just Clooney

Dujardin is amazing

Didn’t say a word!

Best Actress:

I’d bet a kidney that everyone was praying Meryl wouldn’t get a nomination for The Iron Lady. Let’s be honest, if Meryl is nominated, your chances are better buying a lottery ticket.

Big breakout performance for Rooney Mara. Good for her, the nomination will jump start her career. The performances in My Week With Marilyn and Albert Nobbs were supposed to have been good but I haven’t seen them yet. They will likely cancel each other out in the voting like desperate Republican candidates. (Santorum as Marilyn Monroe, Paul as Albert Nobbs… but that’s a blog for another day…)

A big omission here IMO was Tilda Swinton (We Need to Talk About Kevin). Didn’t love the movie (it made me question why anyone would want to have children), but her performance was solid.

Best Director:

All of the directors directed well (even Malick with Tree of Life…ugh, it pained me to say that), but Michel Hazanavicius set a new paradigm when he helmed The Artist, so this trophy belongs to him.

Original Screenplay: (the category I dream of winning one day…seriously, I practice my acceptance speech in the shower at least twice a week)

Although a bit ironic, The Artist should win here hands down. Inherently, the script was a masterpiece of detail, careful thought and impeccable staging. I must admit that the dialogue was a bit weak, though.

Best Song:

It had better be The Muppets or heads will roll. And thank God W.E. didn’t get nominated for this category like it did at the Golden Globes. I’d have to hang myself if Madonna were to give another smug, self-indulgent acceptance speech in her faux-British accent. “… MY movie, MY script, MY song, MY projector, MY popcorn, MY has-been persona…”

All in all, a good year for films! I am always up for a wild and crazy discussion of cinema, so feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments! I also will be catching up on the movies I’ve missed before February 26th, so join me if you have time. I promise I’ll keep the cinephile douche within me at bay and the conniption fits to a minimum.

P.S.  I really liked The Artist…

Written by lindsay in: Uncategorized |
  • Theatre Person

    well weinstein can be sure ‘the artist’ will sell at least one DVD when it comes out! Till then keep urself occupied by this: http://www.olbg.com/oscars.htm 

  • manoj f.

    still haven’t spat the tree of life out of your system entirely, i see 😉 … no michael shannon? wtf!? yes! … can’t wait for you to brink your haiku prowess to purchase!

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