Dec
15
2008

Dumb Product Monday

After a workload-related blogging hiatus, I work up this morning ready to re-enter the blogosphere and prepared to look for annoying things that I could Meccanize.  I didn’t have to look far.

I give you The Slanket.

Designed for people who want to look like wizards while they are trying to stay warm.  Or who are too lazy to put on extra clothes but are incapable of handling the complexities of a draped blanket while they are doing their every day tasks like reading a book or ordering a pizza.

There are also a number of competing products, including the Snuggie.  “Blankets are OK but they can slip and slide, plus your hands are trapped inside.”  I wasn’t aware that blankets offered similar functionality to handcuffs, but apparently this is a real problem.

And, on a whole new different level of stupidity, I give you the Hawaii Chair.

It’s a chair impuissance avec viagra.  That has a 2800 RPM motor in it.   The chair basically jerks you back and forth while you”go about your business” (you know…read, write, talk on the phone… do all those things that are easy to do while your nether-regions are spinning around uncontrollably).  And when did sitting on your ass become an integral part of working out?

There is also the Flowbee, but that deserves a whole other blog post.

Blanket capes and vomit-inducing furniture, you are Meccanized.

  • http://emaildashboard.com Deva Hazarika

    Um, the Snuggie is clearly and obviously awesome, and anyone who can’t see that must be completely retarded.

  • Lindsay

    I don’t like your implication, Deva.
    I ask you — why can’t you just use a blanket? Or put on more clothes?

    Also, the Snuggie and the Slanket don’t take into account the members of the population that have shorter arms? If I used the Snuggie the ends of the sleeves would fall in my food, envelop the phone, etc.

    So lame and inconvenient.

  • http://emaildashboard.com Deva Hazarika

    YOU’RE lame and inconvenient.

  • http://www.snuggieblanket.net Snuggie Blanket

    Dumb product? maybe.. but the snuggie has sold over a million blankets and sales haven't slowed down. People like the product.

    • Lindsay

      All I'm saying is that it is a dumb product. Which, surprisingly, you seem to agree with …No argument that people like it — I'm sure it is all the rage. Wasn't it P.T. Barnum who said “Never underestimate the stupidity of the general public?”

      • http://www.snuggieblanket.net Snuggie Blanket

        Yes, and it was a man named Adolf who said “How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think.” One day when the snuggie has passed the 100 million mark, we shall see who rules over the new world order and who will continue to rage captive in their cold padded cells with their inferior slankets.

  • Lindsay

    Touche, Snuggie Blanket. Touche.

  • Lindsay

    Touche, Snuggie Blanket. Touche.

Powered by WordPress | Lindsay Mecca's Blog