Oct
17
2008

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie…And Don’t Dress Them

Ok. I don’t think I am capable of softening this, so I am just going to say it unapologetically:

People who dress their dogs in clothing (or do anything more ridiculous that, like take their dogs to get manis and pedis or Swedish massages) make me sorry to be part of the human race. This goes so far beyond just griding my gears.

A friend of mine told me that her sister dresses her dog up and that she would get me a picture to use for this post. I steeled myself for the worst, but the picture was a pleasant surprise:

Sort of cute...and punt-able

Sure, I still think this is ridiculous, but giving your dog (though I am not even sure this punt-able creature can even be called a dog) an accessory isn’t that bad and can actually be kind of cute.

No, I am talking about monstrosities such as this:

There are no words...

There are no words...

Dogs are animals for God’s sake! They are meant to be dirty and furrily naked. They should be allowed to feel the freedom of having their paws touch the ground without having booties between them and the pavement. They should be allowed to feel the cool breeze blowing through their fur, not floating over a wool sweater emblazoned with “Fashion: Doggie Style” (ha…ha…get it? The people who find this little pun laugh-out-loud funny are the same people who bring their dog to a gym and make it run on the treadmill for exercise.)

And what I think a lot of people miss about this whole dog pampering movement is the impact it will have on dogkind. Every time you tie that hoodie on your pug, that dog becomes less likely to be able to adapt to cold weather without it. The little pads on its Golden Retriever feet lose their calluses a little bit every time you lace up its tiny shoes. And the Terrier loses the ability to successfully act on its instinct to hunt and kill every time you file and paint its nails (but I just crossed into a whole other realm of crazy).

It is basic Darwinism– survival of the fittest, and I guarantee you in no scenario will the fittest dog ever be one with a little bow in its fur and socks on its paws.

Ugh.

Dog pamperers (and, for good measure, punt-able dogs): consider yourself Meccanized.

Written by lindsay in: Opinion | Tags: ,
  • Sanjay Kairam

    Also, why does that dog have a backpack? What could a dog possibly carry in a backpack?

  • Sarah

    sadie has one of those… mom calls it her “party collar.” it would be cute but she looks so demoralized every time you can almost hear her say “ohhhh the shame”

  • Sanjay Kairam

    Also, please feast your eyes on this:

    http://www.wtfcostumes.com/oompa_dog_costume.jpg

  • Laura

    The following is an excerpt from an email from Lindsay J. Mecca to myself:

    Um, Laura…

    If i move to St. Louis…

    And we live together…

    We will prostitute ourselves if we have to….

    To get enough money…

    To buy…

    A puggle.

    I will not take any other dog as a substitute, unless it is a Corgie.

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  • http://www.Dogs.info Dogs

    The backpack is needed to carry his supply of bones for those long walks !

    • http://www.dogfencediy.com/pet-containment/ pet containment

      Only a pro could tell and that is what you say, good to know, thank you.

  • http://www.k9puppy.co.uk/DogsforSale/ Dogs

    I agree, we should remove those at the time when they take rest or goes for sleep!

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    this site was made for youpetswhowanttokillthemselves.com

  • duncanbirmingham

    this site was made for you:petswhowanttokillthemselves.com

  • http://www.sleeppositioner.net Sleeping Jack

    To some pet owners their pet is more than an animal. They talk to him, dress him up, hug him, kiss him etc. They act like he is a human or their childSuch extremes are unhealthy if you ask me

  • http://www.sleeppositioner.net Sleeping Jack

    To some pet owners their pet is more than an animal. They talk to him, dress him up, hug him, kiss him etc. They act like he is a human or their childSuch extremes are unhealthy if you ask me

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