Nov
19
2008

Start ‘Em Young

Start ‘Em Young…

Calling someone “hot” can refer to a few things: sexiness (physical attributes and attractiveness), popularity, a fever. I ask you — do any of these possible interpretations of the word hot sound good when applied to a toddler?

Let’s consider this:

Sexy: Toddlers are awesome, but I think most people not Michael Jackson would agree that calling a toddler “hot” and referring to their attractiveness is the best way to get yourself a one way ticket to Prisonville. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life trying to nonchalantly let your neighbors know that you are a sex offender, probably better to avoid referring to a child like that.

Popular: Maybe your kid is the toast of the day care town, but it would be pretty lame to classify a toddler as hot in the “Hansel…so hot right now” sense. For one thing, most things toddlers do are objectively lame anyway (no one would bat an eye if I waddled a few steps and then fell down or managed to eat a meal without spilling food all over myself…well, maybe that second one would inspire some excitement), so it’s not like there is a cool – to – lame scale in play here. Second, while I will agree that there are definitely some pariahs in the young childhood sphere (you know, the weird kids who eat worms on the playground and put their pants on backwards), besides those outcasts, everyone falls in to the same pool of coolness.

Fever: This is just medically bad. Call a doctor.

So given this, how is it ok that Forbes, a supposedly respected publication, published pictures of the “10 Hottest Tots” and no one finds it creepy, offensive, a sad commentary on our society, or all 3?

Forbes, you are Meccanized. And for the sake of the two Pitt-Jolie kids NOT included in the slide show, Shiloh, Zahara, and Pax, you are also Meccanized.

Written by lindsay in: Opinion | Tags: , ,

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