If Your Dog Has a T-Shirt, You Don’t Need a Handout

Let me preface this by saying that you all know how I feel about dog clothes.

Yesterday, I exited the Metreon (saw Extract — meandering but appealing story, kind of a softer, nicer Coen Brothers movie.  Not worth $11 to see it on a big screen) and made it 3 feet before a woman asked me for change.  

Now, it doesn’t inherently bother me when people on the street asked me for money.  I don’t usually give it, but I don’t Meccanize panhandling.  And I would have just walked on by en route to the Container Store to salivate over organizational devices when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the “dog” she had with her.

It was a runty, sniffly, wimpy chihuahua…and it was wearing a t-shirt.  Not just any t-shirt, though — a fitted, designer t-shirt.  Yes, I stared long enough and closely enough to see.  No, that does not make me the weird one in this scenario.

For starters, this dog was not a homeless person’s dog.  HP dogs are mangy, scrappy little pieces of shit that just want to be loved.  This dog clearly wouldn’t dane to rest its un-shoed paws on old newspapers gingerly laid down over the cold, dirty sidewalks of SF.  

The questions began flying through my head:

– If this woman an afford to dress her dog, why does she need a handout from me?

– Are her priorities so out of whack that she spent hard-panhandled money on dog clothes instead of alcohol or drugs, in which case, do I really want to reward that behavior?  

– Even if she rooted through trash to find that t-shirt (which, she didn’t, because it was gleaming white as if brand new…ok, so I really looked closely…), she was willing to put the energy in to fashionably clothe her pet but not to pop into a homeless shelter for free food?  

Taking a step back, I was also annoyed that this woman doesn’t seem to get how to be a successful homeless person acheter viagra sur le net.  If you want people to have sympathy and give you money, you don’t do things that make them think you don’t need it.  It’s a tough game out there — on the world stage of homeless, this woman is up against singing blind children in Mumbai, teenagers in Buenos Aires selling homemade bracelets in the subway, and girls in Vietnam forced to turn tricks for food.  If I were going to give money, I’d look for utter helplessness and despair — missing limbs, leaky eyes — not a well-groomed dog cloaked in a $300 piece of fabric.   I don’t think this woman takes her job seriously. 


Written by lindsay in: The Ridiculous | Tags: ,

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie…And Don’t Dress Them

Ok. I don’t think I am capable of softening this, so I am just going to say it unapologetically:

People who dress their dogs in clothing (or do anything more ridiculous that, like take their dogs to get manis and pedis or Swedish massages) make me sorry to be part of the human race. This goes so far beyond just griding my gears.

A friend of mine told me that her sister dresses her dog up and that she would get me a picture to use for this post. I steeled myself for the worst, but the picture was a pleasant surprise:

Sort of cute...and punt-able

Sure, I still think this is ridiculous, but giving your dog (though I am not even sure this punt-able creature can even be called a dog) an accessory isn’t that bad and can actually be kind of cute.

No, I am talking about monstrosities such as this:

There are no words...

There are no words...

Dogs are animals for God’s sake! They are meant to be dirty and furrily naked. They should be allowed to feel the freedom of having their paws touch the ground without having booties between them and the pavement. They should be allowed to feel the cool breeze blowing through their fur, not floating over a wool sweater emblazoned with “Fashion: Doggie Style” (ha…ha…get it? The people who find this little pun laugh-out-loud funny are the same people who bring their dog to a gym and make it run on the treadmill for exercise.)

And what I think a lot of people miss about this whole dog pampering movement is the impact it will have on dogkind. Every time you tie that hoodie on your pug, that dog becomes less likely to be able to adapt to cold weather without it. The little pads on its Golden Retriever feet lose their calluses a little bit every time you lace up its tiny shoes. And the Terrier loses the ability to successfully act on its instinct to hunt and kill every time you file and paint its nails (but I just crossed into a whole other realm of crazy).

It is basic Darwinism– survival of the fittest, and I guarantee you in no scenario will the fittest dog ever be one with a little bow in its fur and socks on its paws.


Dog pamperers (and, for good measure, punt-able dogs): consider yourself Meccanized.

Written by lindsay in: Opinion | Tags: ,

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