I ask you — what else could possibly go wrong this weekend?
Perhaps I could get sick during our final exam period? Done.
Perhaps my computer could melt down…twice…during said final exam period? Check. Of course, had I known how brutal exams were going to be, I would have prayed to any higher or lower power that would listen to allow my computer to stay dead forever. Without getting into all the gory details, “No” meant “Yes” to my Decision Analysis final. Or, to throw in a little B school humor, “That shit Crystal Balled me.”
Maybe my apartment could become a refugee camp for all bugs in the continental US? It’s like I accidentally set up the Roach Motel, excpet it’s an actual motel for roaches, and not a clever name for a device that kills roaches. The upside is that I never feel lonely, because I have about 4,000 little roommates. The downside is, I HAVE BUGS ALL OVER MY APARTMENT. I’ve taken to running around like a crazy person with a fly swatter in one hand and my vacuum cleaner roaring in the other. In the times that I get overwhelmed, a nice Australian gentleman who lives nearby is always on deck to come over and help me. I bet if we get married, he will tell the story of the wood beetle that brought the two of us together. I will weep silently in the corner.
How about if some assclown hits my beautiful car, my pride and joy and dislodges a tail light, scrapes some paint off and cracks the bumper, and then drives away without leaving a note? My heart is heavy for The Paul Carr tonight.
I’m going to lump this whole weekend under the umbrella of “I guess you need these types of days now and again to put things in perspective.” I just hope the perspective flood is over so I can get back to taking things like my health and living in a bug-free apartment for granted.