First up: swine flu really grinds my gears.  Until recently, the only direct effects I have felt from the ailment is the glares I get on the bus whenever I sneeze or cough.  I have allergies.  I can’t help it.  That said, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like the extra space I get as people edge away from me.

Today, swine flu has been elevated to more than mere muni bother. Why?  A dear, darling friend of mine was recently diagnosed with it.  I was informed only minutes ago, and I (rarely speechless) didn’t know what to say.  Torn between laying down a hugely inappropriate and tasteless joke and being sympathetic and mature… well, you can probably guess which route I took.  I’ll give you a hint: the former, followed by a guilt-driven latter.

Now, maybe everyone else already knows people who have been afflicted.  Maybe I have just been fortunate enough to have been blessed with a friend group with exceptionally strong immune systems.  But the news of said ailment caught me off guard.  And it wasn’t just me.  When he prompted his girlfriend with “I’m sick.  Guess what I have?” the responses were (in order of descending absurdity): The Plague, Polio, Swine Flu.

He’ll be fine, but I want to dedicate this post to him.  Be brave, dear boy.  In the mean time, I am going to finish masticating  this giant ham sandwich as a silent, delicious protest of the disease.